Being the social butterfly that I am, if I have a problem, I’m almost always going to physically talk to someone about it rather than actually writing something down. It’s upsetting to you, Lindner, I’m sure. Fortunately for you ( in a weird way), I occasionally fall into a rut where I don’t even feel like talking to the people I know around here so I’ll either 1) message someone or text someone who is not very close to me or 2) I’ll write some poetry of some sort. What this really means is that I only really write when I’m in some major trouble. Of course, there are intermittent texts or emails here and there, but the bulk of my writing represents something pretty nasty going on in my life. Fortunately, things don’t get this bad too often, but if you’re getting a text or message from me complaining about my life, something’s up*.
When I do have the time to write outside of my academic life, it usually takes place via my phone. My handwriting is pretty terrible so writing poetry by hand ends up looking like a little kid’s finger painting rather than something elegant and, y’know, legible. My dependence on my phone for writing is making me think that there’s a very small chance that Nicolas Carr could have been right about a few aspects of our generation; however, I refuse to admit that he’s right about everything. Anyways, my poetry is usually pretty terrible form a literary standpoint and within a few days to months each poem is eventually deleted from the notes on my phone without anyone else’s eyes but my own to judge my terrible writing. Despite these poems sometimes being so juvenile that they start with a variation of roses are red/violets are blue/I hate homework/ and I hate you too, these poems can sometimes help tie some loose ends in my brain. While I’m rarely able to explicitly say exactly what’s wrong when I feel down, the words that these poems consist of can usually give me a good idea of what’s going on in my head when I take a moment to analyze these thoughts.
Occasionally when I’m day dreaming in
English class, I do think about what I would write about and research if I had the time to do so. It usually comes down to two things: 1) complex medical stuff and 2) activism focusing on women’s rights. No, I’m not a doctor or a ‘feminazi’ as I’ve heard one teacher call it, but these are things that interest me and affect me directly.
With being in band, and taking a bunch of AP classes, and needing to do college apps, and having four leadership positions around campus, the day for me to expand my writing life is not in my near future. But one day, in a land far, far away, I will be writing about cool medical things and I’ll be writing to my friends, and I’ll be writing about all the things that bother me because I know that while writing can be boring sometimes, it’s a good way to understand the world around us.
*writing this sentence made me feel like Foster for a second for some reason….